Personal experience with SSRIs
A couple of years ago, I decided to take a very small dose of escitalopram (2.5mg) for self-improvement purposes (I wanted to pharmacologically replicate stoicism). After about 2-3 weeks, feelings of stress and anxiety were completely gone. I am not a stressed or anxious person in the first place so even a very dose of escitalopram was highly effective in this regard.
Furthermore, I became more rational in my decision-making. Unfortunately, the price of “stoicism” was emotional apathy and I lost my ability to feel deep emotions, whether positive or negative.
I eventually tapered off because of four reasons:
- Escitalopram reduced some of my ability to experience negative emotions. I believe that, in healthy amounts, negative emotions are important for learning, personal growth, and change.
- Escitalopram killed my brain’s ability to generate anxiety. For many, this is desired, but for me, it is not. I believe that the difference between the feeling of contentment and the feeling of meaning is partially a function of anxiety levels. I would rather have meaning than contentment.
- I had less empathy for others, perhaps as true empathy is not really possible with a brain that is incapable of generating anxiety.
- Escitalopram crushed my emotions for my then-girlfriend and I felt that I was “less in love” with her.
I discuss my experience with vortioxetine, an atypical SSRI I liked much better, here.
SSRIs – Introduction
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